Guest Blog, short story...

I can put this story on paper today only because the three of us are healthier now and because there's no need for anyone to be afraid, for any of us. It wasn't always so.

On this night, we were all willing to die, but none of us were brave enough to put it that way. We were cowards, the three of us.

On this night, one of us thought that this couldn't possibly be her life. Another of us thought that he couldn't have possibly come this far for the nothing he saw ahead. The other of us thought that she couldn't have possibly believed the empty vision she was handed.

Privately, silently, we conjured these horrible thoughts. The three of us wandered about the grounds as if it were a big adventure, as though we weren't all looking for the sharpened knife we knew was hidden somewhere in the darkness.

Life is like an egg, it's best hard-boiled

I've been away ages, and now that I'm in full bar prep mode, I thought I'd return and fill, well, me, on what's going on.

I hit up the local library today for work, and well, it's three rooms. What's worse, or better if you're my friend Adam, all the workers are h.s. asian girls. I felt like a perv reading NY contract law just by my proximity to them.

On an unrelated note, I found a great apartment in DC. Location rocked, had a pool, doorman, etc... Of course the fuckers wouldn't take cosignors. WTF? Really? They're going to get their money, what's the problem? Oh well, I found another place that was nearer the metro and chipotle (5th food group), so I'm happy.

hmm...another thing on my mind is people that refuse to shut up when you're reading. I love the fam, but you'd think they'd know by now that when I'm w/ a book (4/5 of my waking hours), just leave me the hell alone. My mom has an interesting, semi-political job (all about politics), but still, I'm holding a BOOK! Leave me alone! Okay, I'm back to regular posting, so my audience of 1 (2 if H is bored), get ready for some ranting...

Mere Puffery

No, this post has nothing to do with the above phrase, but a friend used it and I kind of like it. Reminds me of Jacobian England for some reason. Two guys wearing wigs, "The islands off Australia are populated by man eating women." "Sir, that is mere puffery!"

Anyway, I'm 12 hours from finishing the joke that is a top law school. How do I feel...blah. The only rewarding part so far is that at the awards ceremony (which we were required to attend), the girl that got order of the coif, top student, and summa, was not there. Because she lives across the hall from me, I know the reason. She was shit-faced. Falling down drunk. Now that's irony. Ish

Borders can kiss my ass!

I'm a reader. Call it escapism, call it boredom, whatever. I read, a lot. So, I was slightly pissed on Saturday when the checkout people at Borders made fun of me. And the worst part, this was the second fucking time in the same fucking store.

The Artemis Fowl series is designed for teens, but it's a fun, 4 hour read. The perfect thing for a bad TV night or sitting on the porch having a beer. Nevermind my barely out of her teens EX got me into the series. ANYWAY, I walk up carring the New York Review of Books, Foreign Affairs, and a book about the King James Bible...and of course, the Fowl book.

"Hey Harry, come check out this one!"

"What?"

"This guy has got a bunch of poli sci books, and a kid's book!" (squeal of delight)

"Really? (addressing me) You've got some odd taste sir."

(My quiet reply) "I just finished finals. Trying to unwind and all."

"Well, enjoy the books, I hope you pass that last one on to a nephew or something."

Motherfuckers. It's not my fault they wasted their time geting an MA in english lit. What did they expect, a chair at Swarthmore?

24 hours left in a three-year ordeal

I've got under a day left in law school and I honestly can't motivate to finish. How fucking sad is that. Instead, I'm sitting on my couch, talking to friends, watching the Sci-Fi Channel, and reading a kids book while sipping a scotch. Talk about regression.

On the plus side, I caught about 15 seconds of the President's press conf. tonight, and even though I'm a red, I had to turn it. Why that's a plus, I don't know, but it helped me to feel grounded knowing I'm not the only guy out there having trouble finishing what he started.

So, I had an ordeal today dealing with my suspended driving rights (and let's be honest, it's not a right according to the state, but a privilege. fuckers). Anyway, I forgot to pay my ticket, so went to the court house to pay. I was a bit nervous and it being J & D day (which I found out means 'kids that steal shit and beat up their mom's'), the mood in the hall didn't help the feeling. So, I decided to pull the I'm 'with you' card on the clerk. After dropping the DHS bomb, it was like I was jesus returned. I had 3 old ladies talking to me and asking about my life. Freaky.

So, after they draw me directions to the DMV, and give me their number in case I get lost (my town has 5 stop lights) I set off to the DMV. There, still nervous, I pull the 'poor inept guy' card out, and end up flirting with a 45 year old woman who ends up pulling out her comb and fixing my hair for my new photo and volunteering to help me get my driving records from other states for my bar apps.

And all of this was before 10:30. The good news, I got an egg mcmuffin on the way home. The bad news, I felt like a fake asshole.

Wanna be voyuer

I've lived in the same place for the last coupla years, and tonight just highlighted a problem that's has always vexed me.

The surrounding apartments have quiet sex.

That, I just don't get. Let me give you the back-story, my neighbor, let's call her Leslie, is a loud talker. I know all about her family problems because I hear EVERY FUCKING WORD she says on the phone. Her boyfriend has a drug problem, know about that too because they talk, quietly, on their couch about his issues. But never, not ever once, have I heard them doing anything but talk.

So Leslie is on the same floor, but Rebecca (and yes, there's some history between us, so her being quiet is not a surprise), can sneeze, and I know what surface her salvia hit. Yet again, not a peep when her boyfriend visits.

But me, of course, they've both made comments to their friends about "quinn had sex last night". Which bothers me for two reasons:

1) I don't ever tell other people what they talk about, even when I hear every word (like tonight - which would be a wonderful story).

2) If the person on the otherside of a paper-tissue thin wall can't hear you, you're not doing a good job.

Feel better with this off my chest.

Talking sock

Okay, I have to begin w/ an admission, I watch Smallville. Yeah, you read that correctly, Smallville. It's a WB show about teenage angst and models turned superheros. If you don't agree w/ my taste, well, you're blind cuz they're all hot. Anyway, a commercial that is constantly on is the kid on the couch talking to his sock. I have to admit, it's the most annoying commercial ever. I'm not even sure what it's about because as soon as it comes on I either turn off my tv, switch the station, or start screaming, all to avoid the "We're going to be best friends!"-voice. Jesus, that hurts the ears. The only commercial that's as annoying is the girl pulling out the megaphone and doing the siren while yelling, "get down here girl, you're not missing another day of school." It's called college-prep, and I applaud her dedication to get in the habit early. Hell, law school is 5 times worse but you've not got the excuse that you've woken up in a strange bed.